We live in a world that, for a long time, has done its bit to diminish romance as unmanly and uncomfortable. I’m on a mission to bring a new truth alive— a truth that romance is a bold act of masculinity and a vital thread in the fabric of strong, meaningful connection. The type of connection that we all crave.

I write this as a man who is trying. A man who, from a young age, learned to feel weak in expressing his emotions, weak in admitting his vulnerability and imperfections, and weak in wanting someone.

After 15 years of trying to develop my emotional intelligence, I write this article with the intention of coming from a grounded, conscious place that now allows me to celebrate the power of love and romance and the positive ripple effects they have on our mental health and our felt sense of purpose.

The Power of Romance

Over time, men have increasingly been led to believe that fulfilment and purpose lie in material gain and superficial or professional achievements, and we’ve unconsciously neglected the emotional richness that meaningful love and connection can bring to our lives.

This disconnect stems from a cultural script that teaches us to deny our emotions and prioritise independence over intimacy, leading to relationships that are often more functional than fulfilling.

Romance isn’t just about grand gestures or occasional moments of affection; romance is an expression that says, “I see you, I value you, and I’m here to be truly present with you.” It’s about leading with depth beyond accomplishment and constant, striving action to courageously break down the protective walls that guard our hearts and keep us stuck and lonely as ‘Human Doings’ instead of connecting vulnerably as ‘Human Beings’.

The true power of romance lies in its ability to bring us back to each other, bridging the gaps created by our fears and reservations. It encourages us to engage fully, not only with our partners but with the moments we share.

When we allow ourselves to indulge in romance, we are not just lovers; we are architects of a shared emotional experience, crafting a space where both grow and thrive.

Through romance, we communicate in a language that transcends words, weaving intimacy and connection into the very fabric of our relationships.

As society evolves, so does our definition of what it means to be a man. A new, more conscious paradigm of masculinity is emerging—one that takes a stand against the outdated notion that being manly means being aloof and nonchalant. 

This upgraded perspective embraces the idea that being present and attentive, and engaging emotionally in relationships are not only indicators of strength and confidence but also incredibly attractive. Effort is sexy. So is vulnerability. 

And there are noticeable hormonal benefits to making romance a priority. Studies suggest that men’s testosterone levels increase when they leverage their problem-solving, goal-oriented aspects to take action to please their partners. When met with gratitude and praise, this hormonal shift reinforces feelings of strength and confidence, and reduces stress, further fueling the desire to connect. 

As an added benefit, this dynamic has a positive effect on women, whose estrogen levels rise when in a state of receptivity. This hormonal interplay not only deepens the bond between partners but also enhances the overall well-being of both, creating a powerful cycle of mutual support and attraction.

So romance isn’t dead. Far from it. As more men wake up to the multidimensionality of their masculinity, this shift towards a more empathetic and involved form of manliness is not a sign of weakness; it is a powerful affirmation that true masculinity lies in the courage to love deeply and to care—fully.

And, if you are ready to move towards romance and true connection, Chelsea, with its myriad of romantic locales and experiences, offers the perfect canvas to express and celebrate love. It’s time for men to re-learn that act of leading with an open, present heart and find strength in our capacity to love and be loved.

This is how I recommend spoiling your partner in the neighbourhood:

Cantinetta Antinori: Just off Sloane Street, Cantinetta Antinori offers an exquisite backdrop for an evening of Italian elegance. Its intimate setting and meticulously crafted cuisine serve not just a meal but an experience, making it a perfect venue for a night where every detail says, ‘I love you.’

…At Sloane: Imagine a weekend getaway without leaving the city: a mini-break at the distinctly seductive …At Sloane Hotel, with its sumptuous interiors. Be sure to visit the basement bar, where a cocktail or two in the draped and candlelit decor isn’t just a drink –  it’s a shared secret between lovers, a decadent pause from the daily grind.

Chelsea Physic Garden: For couples who find connection in tranquillity and nature, Chelsea Physic Garden offers a lush escape in the heart of London. A stroll through its historic paths is a journey through nature’s beauty, providing a peaceful setting to reconnect and share quiet moments of love.

Azzurra: This charming boat-to-table spot is perfect for when you want to channel a touch of southern Italian glamour on your date. Order a dozen oysters and let their aphrodisiac qualities get to work. 

Sir Frank’s Bar at Beaverbrook Townhouse: Cap off your evening with a visit to Sir Frank’s Bar. The intimate lighting and perfectly prepared cocktails make it the perfect spot for a post-dinner nightcap, should you want to keep your conversation flowing.

Bonus Ideas:

Moyses Stevens: Surprise your loved one with a bouquet from this renowned florist, a classic gesture that never gets old.

Cooking at Home: Light the candles, put on the music, turn off the screens and create a shared experience of cooking together with ingredients bought on Pavilion Road. If things feel playful, pop on a playlist and sing and dance as you cook; if romance is in the air, hug her from behind and kiss her neck as you prepare the desert.

BEN IS A COACH WHO HELPS PEOPLE WHO ARE SUCCESSFUL IN BUSINESS BUT FEEL STUCK AND UNFULFILLED IN LIFE. HE IS ALSO A BREATHWORK GUIDE AND SOUGHT-AFTER SPEAKER.  DISCOVER MORE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN WORK WITH HIM HERE.